Re-evaluation Counseling

When I lie on the table for my FSR treatment once a week, inevitably I end up talking to Sharon about what I’ve been thinking, and lately, this past year, I have been thinking a lot about my life. Sharon seems concerned that she may not be qualified to advise me about some of my problems. So, she expressed relief when I told her I was investigating Re-evaluation Counseling, a peer-counseling system developed by Harvey Jackins.

             Cousin Leslie told me she has been involved with RC for years, thought I might benefit, and gave me a contact person in my area. Not long after I contacted the person, an introductory meeting was arranged at Sandra’s house. After learning more about the theory of RC, and practicing counseling each other, three of us, June, Meryl and I signed on for a 10-week class with Sandra.

I have had several opportunities to practice RC; the longest session was today when Meryl came to my house and we took turns speaking and listening for half an hour each. The theory is that we all are “loving, cooperative, intelligent, and zestful,” but these qualities become blocked by accumulated painful experiences. If emotional discharge can be affected, these qualities can be restored. In a counseling session, laughing, shaking or crying might achieve emotional discharge.

In RC, a person is free to talk and express himself or herself in a private session with a partner. The partner offers no feedback or advice only listens. As intelligent beings, Jackins deems that we ourselves are most qualified to solve our own problems, if we are not burdened with emotional baggage.

With a timer set, I easily talked for my half hour. I felt afterwards that I had been given a gift -- to be able to speak freely and be listened to with no apparent judgment. I think I’ve been needing that.

My Healing Routine

 

Here is the simple truth: People recover from Parkinson's when they hold the belief that recovery is possible.  Those who believe their health can improve do improve. They take responsibility for their own health and well being and commit to a program that gives their body the support it needs to heal.

                                                                                    Robert Rogers, PhD.

           

Everyday I work on healing myself. The exercises are multi-dimensional and work on different aspects of myself. Some days I do more or less, and I have added and deleted exercises over time. Following is a description of my current “routine.”

            Hopefully up before 7:00 a.m., I stretch my legs and take some deep breaths. Then I get on my Gazelle machine and struggle along for 5 minutes, which seems like a long time because it is very hard for me. I will use it 3-5 times during the day. I go downstairs to see my family before they go off for work and school.

            I eat breakfast and take all my supplements.

            Settling in my usual comfortable chair, I consult the runes. I hold the bag of stones, shuffling through them with the other hand and think about the issues in my life at the moment. I choose one, read about it in The Book of Runes and record it in my journal. I also record what exercises I did the day before.

            Next, I usually read. What I read in the morning is always some kind of spiritual or self-help book. I read for 15 -30 minutes. Then I might do Jin Shin Jyutsu. I start by pressing my palms together and then hold each of the fingers of one hand with the other hand for about a minute each. I allow my thoughts to wander or notice sensations in my body.

            Then I meditate. I have a cushion I sit on facing a glass paperweight or flowers, if I have them. I am now part way through Andrew Weiss’ 10-week course on mindfulness meditation. I count breaths, notice the spaces between breaths, or recite silently:

            I breathe in. I relax my body.

            I breathe out. I smile.

            Dwelling in the present moment –

            I know this is a wonderful moment.

            When I feel it’s time, I follow the meditation with prayer. I usually say the Serenity prayer. I pray for my family, myself, perhaps someone in need, and I express gratitude for all the good things in my life.

Then I do Kinhin, a slow walking meditation around the edges of the rug. Each step corresponds to an in or an out breath. I try to be very aware of each step and all the coordinated body movements involved in walking. 

            Finally, I do Qi Gong exercises I learned from a book called Earth Qi Gong for Women.  After the warm up exercises, I repeat the movements of the two parts of the “Deer Walk” 8 times.

Time for a protein drink, another stint on the Gazelle then I can get on with the day such as taking a shower, getting dressed, cleaning up the kitchen and so forth.

            Then I may go to FSR Therapy, a Feldenkrais, yoga or tango class depending on the day.

            Before going to bed. I will meditate, pray and perhaps do Jin Shin Jyutsu. At the end of the day I see that most of the day has been devoted to MYSELF. It may sound self indulgent, but I intend in this way to heal myself of what is said to be an incurable disease. I have to really work at it, and not only put the time into it, but all the energy I can muster to do it with my whole being.

New Treatments

I have seen a CranioSacral therapist and a nutritionist this week. Both have chiropractic licenses so I can call them doctors.

Dr. H, the CS therapist, brought a massage table to my house so I did not have to drive. The therapy was similar to other energy therapy I have had except her hands moved almost constantly following what CSTs say is the flow of fluids in my body. Afterwards, I thought about it and decided not to continue with CST. Intuitively I felt this wasn’t the right treatment for me.

Dr K, my chiropractor, recommended Dr. M who he said is 80 years old and works as a nutritionist now after a career in chiropractory. Dr. M spent over 3 hours with me although his bill said one hour. He is pumped up about nutrition and how our American diet is making us ill. Whatever he’s eating, it must be helping him -- he has a lot more energy than I do. He also had a different view of PD than what I have heard before. He says it is an inflammatory, autoimmune disease.

Dr. M performed a bioelectrical impedance analysis, which tested my body fat ratio, hydration level and cellular functions. He tested my vitamins to see if I was absorbing them properly. He did this in an interesting way. I put one vitamin at a time into my mouth, wet it with saliva, and then kept it under my tongue. Then he tested the strength of the muscles in my arm and hand. I tested strong for all the vitamins except for the most expensive, name brand multi-vitamin I had been taking. He tested me twice, with different pills and different arms and each time my muscles could not hold firm when he applied force. So therefore, he said there is something my body is reacting negatively to in this vitamin.

A year ago, I learned how to do this kind of muscle testing to see which foods are good for my system. By touching the food with one hand, the other arm can be tested for strength. I followed the results in my diet for 3 months. The foods actually corresponded with those recommended by Josef, an intuitive healer I consulted. I relaxed the diet after 3 months because I didn’t feel any improvement. I guess I didn’t totally trust an intuitive to guide me. Now I am working again on my diet, but consulting a different kind of practitioner.

Dr. M said that holding the food in the mouth is more reliable than merely touching it, but he acknowledged that that method works as well. I don’t know how it works however.

The result is I am taking stronger doses of some vitamins such as fish oil, having a protein drink 3 times a day and altering my diet. The diet is low-acid, yeast and gluten-free. All dairy and all wheat and other gluten is out. I should avoid sugar, caffeine, alcohol, citrus, fatty meats and processed foods. There are other limitations as well, but all vegetables are okay (not corn though).

I’m willing to give it my best shot, and I feel good about it. It feels good to be doing something that is a real change in my life.

My Inheritance

            I continue to light a candle on my ancestors altar. All along though, I have felt a little uncomfortable. I have remembered the ones I knew personally, and thought about the ones who died before I was born. There was poverty, homes evacuated in wartime, disease, early death, alcoholism, emigration, bad marriage, abandonment, estrangement, divorce. There was hard work, always manual labor: farming, fishing, logging, ironing, cooking. I hope there were some pleasures in life, like love and joy, assisted I know by liberal quantities of alcohol. Few that I knew were religious, or very spiritually oriented as far as I could tell. The ones, who survived, prospered and lead comfortable lives in their later years.

However, as I think of them and tentatively petition for their support and guidance, somehow I can’t see many of them in this role. Our connection is too fragile. They didn’t ask for anyone’s help, they survived and they did it stoically and without a lot of spiritual nonsense.  They weren’t, most of them, the image of the wise and nurturing matriarchs and patriarchs. Their old age and deaths were not gentle, transformative, but seemed to be lonely even bitter.

Can I respect them and appreciate them for all their qualities the noble and the flawed?

It occurred to me this week that rather than my seeking something from them; I should be the one giving and sending love out to them. Maybe that really is the point. Again, I find myself seeing the negative in a situation and realize I need to turn it around and create love, compassion, and gratitude in myself.

I haven’t been honoring the ancestors just seeing their faults. They lived, they suffered, and they did the best they could. What is my inheritance? To take what they began, and learn from it. They have already completed their lesson.

Gateway

It’s been a trying time as my efforts at self-healing produce no improvement in my physical being. In fact, the reverse seems true. Each new method added to my experiment begins hopefully. This will help me, I think, but as the weeks go by I find myself becoming weaker and less able.

            Yesterday I thought, I might as well take the Mirapex, I have two sample boxes in my bureau drawer and a prescription from Dr. V. I remembered his assurance that I would be better, his confidence that I’d achieve a return to freedom of movement. I talked about it with my husband Henry. He said he would have taken the medicine immediately.

            I thought and agonized to myself, then I went to the Internet. I looked at the Parkinson Recovery website, an alternate therapy resource. I went to Patientslikeme and read forums on people’s experiences with Mirapex. These experiences were frequently not good. I called and talked with Janet, my PD friend who is drug-free. I consulted the Runes.

            The result is I will be trying a new therapy, Cranio Sacral Therapy, recommended by Janet. I will be meeting with a nutritionist. And I am holding off on any drug taking. The main reason for not taking the drug was eloquently expressed in the Book of Runes. Today, seeking advice in my dilemma, I drew Thurisaz, the Gateway, reversed.

"Drawing Thurisaz reversed demands contemplation on your part. Hasty

decisions at this time may cause regrets, for the probability is that you will act from weakness, deceive yourself about your motives and create new problems more severe than those you are attempting to resolve."

I may be struggling physically, but my mind and spirit are well. I don’t want to damage them in an effort to help my body. And the reality is, it is not a healing drug. There are now no healing drugs for PD. But I still believe in healing, thank you very much. So I stumble on.

On Sub-Atomic Particles

 

I want to recommend a book that should be interesting to anyone who is the least bit curious about the connection between spirituality and health. Larry Dossey’s book, Healing Words; the Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine, is written from a doctor’s, albeit a very spiritually-oriented doctor’s point of view.

There have been scientific studies of prayer and it has been shown to be effective in healing. That doesn’t mean that all prayers are answered – it’s more complicated than that, of course. But our minds, our intentions can influence circumstances.            

Dossey says that prayer is non-local -- that it is effective at any distance, and timeless -- that it can affect the present, future and the past. He suggests that prayer functions on the level of sub-atomic particles. Everything, including our bodies contains these particles, and if prayer can influence the particles, then we can through prayer, change the state of our bodies.

In a nutshell, the most effective kind of prayer is non-directed: not seeking a specific outcome. A prayer that asks God, Universe, The Greater Powers or whatever or whomever someone prays to for the best outcome is most effective. That gives God a lot of options, I suppose. Actually, in some cases death might be the best outcome, especially if there is suffering.

As a doctor he doesn’t substitute prayer for medical treatment, but personally he was interested in all kinds of alternative therapies.  In the first chapter of the book Dossey described what occurred during his own illness when he was visited and administered to by all of his New Age friends. For a while, he cheerfully tolerated their attentions.

Eventually, however, my feelings changed. I began to experience an intense craving for solitude. I needed time to be alone and think about what was happening. To my surprise I began to resent the bright, sunny, positive assurances that I’d be well in no time…that each particular therapy was the key to my healing. (p. 20)

Dossey withdrew and began writing and said that this time of “withdrawal and solitude was highly illuminating“ and “realized there were benefits to feeling bad.”(p.21).

 The period of withdrawal, the “quiet way of  being…[was] focused, authentic, genuine, and accepting of any outcome.”(p.23) Eventually he had surgery and recovered, but looking back he found his illness had positive benefits.

I relate to what Dossey experienced. I too feel overwhelmed by suggested treatments and therapies for healing and now am feeling the desire to be alone, perhaps to process all the input--although, I am not really alone. By going within I am trying to be in touch with God, not that I’m even sure what that is. I have been open-minded to all sorts of approaches, and now, it is up to me to choose what I feel is right for me, and with prayer, learn how to listen to my inner guide.

New Year's Runes

While looking through a drawer before New Year’s, I came across the Viking Runes I was given many years ago. I then searched on my bookshelf for The Book of Runes by Ralph Blum* thinking I might consult the Runes as a party game on New Year’s Eve. A horrendous cold discouraged me from any efforts to entertain anyone with oracles, but on the first day of the New Year I curled up on the couch and read Blum’s little book.

            The Runes are not meant to be fortunetellers, but are used as tools of self-discovery. Each day since the first of the year, I have drawn one Rune stone from the bag, and read Blum’s wise interpretation of its meaning. The only problem is that two of the twenty-five stones are missing. Until I replace them, I guess they are not to be part of my inner work.

* http://www.holisticnetworker.com/440/interview-with-ralph-blum-author-the-book-of-runes/