Can I Cope?

Life is change, no getting away from it. And would we want it any different? If nothing ever changed, even the most charmed life could become dull and lifeless.

My big change is the arrival of my 91 year old widowed mother who has moved in with my husband and I. She always intended to move in with us when her husband died, and we always promised that she could. My mother-in-law after all had lived in the back "mother-in-law" suite for years before she died at 81, but she was healthy and mobile for all that time until the last few months when she was in a nursing home. 

However my mother is not getting around well and in fact, can't manage to care for herself. She can't fix her own meals, do laundry, clean, shower, or take her own medications.

My mother begged to come live with us. "I'll give you all my money!" she implored. "It's not the money," I told her, "I don't think we can care for you properly." I thought of all it would mean to have her with us, the changes to our home logistically, the time we would need to devote to her care. I said no.

Eventually I relented, and after an overhaul of the downstairs bedroom, we moved her and her possessions and incorporated them into our household. She's been here since the end of April, and since then she's been to the dentist twice, an internal medicine doctor, a podiatrist, physical therapy twice a week, and this week, she sees a psychologist, an oral surgeon and a hair stylist for a permanent. I spend quite a bit of time making appointments and filling out health forms as well as all the daily needs of someone who is disabled. 

I think I've attended a Rock Steady Zoom once since she arrived. There's no time, and she's in the space I'm accustomed to using to do it. I tried to follow a yoga workout while she dialed a friend and chatted next to me for the duration.

So I record this now to see if this life change will have an impact on my PD symptoms. So far I am okay. I still, usually, do morning exercises and qigong, but no cardio. So much else though is falling by the wayside as I focus more on caring for my mother. Perhaps there is a reward for doing good works for an aging parent; perhaps caring for others is a self-healing act. Or is it, take care of yourself first before you try to care for someone else? A little of both I think will strike the right balance.