Drumming and Humming

I haven't written for a long while, not because I have nothing to say, but because my typing is so bad. I practically have to fix every word. It's frustrating and slow. Even worse is my handwriting though I write everyday in my paper journal. I write a word and I realize it is illegible. I try to fix it and end up by making it worse, so I cross it out and write it again. Sometimes it still looks illegible.    

I read back over my journals, what could be more interesting to me than to reminisce about all my life's occurrences? It is to me. None of it is important in relation to the world and all its dramas, comedies and tragedies. My life is a small drop in the ocean, but it is part of the ocean. We are all part of the same ocean, as Ming Tong Gu says, "an ocean of energy."

My qigong studies continue, and now I am leading a Zoom qigong group every Tuesday morning. For some reason people like it; I have regulars who show up every week, sometimes as many as twelve, but more often only six.  I have three different practice sequences that I know by heart to work with, and I've added things, like self massage and energy warm ups as I feel my way through the challenges of teaching.

I practice by myself everyday. I take an hour or so as soon as I get up in the morning. I've gotten to be quite disciplined about it, but not rigid. There are times when it's neglected, not routinely though. I find myself thinking about the Zoom class as I practice alone, how to improve what I am doing, to communicate more clearly and so forth. It sometimes distracts from what I should be doing - concentrating on my own body, mind, and being. Lately I've tried to incorporate sound healing every day, and standing meditation (but I often sit instead of stand).

Added to the qigong I have started taking a Zoom class in yogic drumming that I really think is good for me and my condition. 

All in all I'm feeling pretty good and happy most days. I have discouraging times, when I find I've lost some ability, like not being strong enough to swim in the surf, or ride a bicycle without falling, or play my ukulele.

It makes me sad to lose these things. But they are going gradually, one at a time, and I adjust. I concentrate on what I can do, and am very grateful when I can add new experiences to my days, that I'm not totally worn out yet! 

Persevere, be persistent! Onward in the effort to overcome and conquer! Parkinson's Disease, I'm not afraid of you!

What I've Lost - What I've Gained

 What I've lost:

      clear, fluid speech

     short term memory

;    long term memory

     nimble fingers, hands, limbs

     facial expressiveness

    35 pounds

What I've gained:

        better discipline

        improved physical fitness

        acceptance

        more appreciation

        new awareness

        true friends 

         

I could add and probably will add other Losses and Gains as I think of them. This is me NOW. I'd like to be more specific and give examples - but later.

List making can be a useful tool.

    

    

   

    

Progress

I feel like I am progressing in reverse, which is exactly what I want to do.

I'm very hopeful.

The western medical establishment declares Parkinson's to be a progressive disease, but I don't believe it. The progress I seek is toward healing, not towards deterioration. 

when my eyes only needed sunglasses

I had cataract surgery, successfully completed, but with a lot of time and effort stretched over two months. It started after a call on an opthamologist about my sore eyes. I was told I had chronic dry eye, apparently a symptom of PD (I blink too slowly my opthamologist said). And then I also learned I had operable cataracts. I'm happy I can see much better now.






I added two more supplements. to my regimen. One of them is for the chronic dry eye, called "Vision Alive." I've taken it for over 6 weeks now. It has compounds from bilberry and blueberry. and for the first time in a long while my eyes are not sore when I wake up in the morning, or during the day, except if I  use the computer too much, or watch a long show on the TV.

a painting from many years back

The other one is a probiotic, made from plants. it contains bacteria subtilis, which I had read is useful in removing harmful bacteria found to be numerous in the gut of Parkies. The bad bacteria may be the cause of the disease.












It's worth a try,  I thought, even if it's only been tried on mice with PD. Since starting it, about the same time as the Vision Alive, I have reduced my daily dose of CL from 5 to 4 to 3 pills/day.
It has only been a few days on the lower doses. I can't draw definite conclusions yet, but as I said, I'm hopeful. I'm on the path.

landscapes are from Block Island