Chi Center Retreat - First Week

Chi Center first day

(An excerpt from the journal I kept while at the Retreat)

From the airport in Albuquerque I was driven by van to the Chi Center along with two women, Ingrid and Pat, who were also headed to the "Intensive Healing Retreat" in Galisteo, New Mexico.

Greeted and checked in by the friendly Lin, I explored the property. Everything is very dry and brown. Junipers and scrappy trees and bushes grow on the hills, surrounded by distant mountains. I hear there are Indian petroglyphs on one rocky hill that we can walk to.

The center itself is many southwestern style buildings of a former spa, and was purchased by Mingtong Gu two years ago. He uses only some of the buildings that have been refurbished. There is a dining hall and kitchen building with a porch and veranda and walled yard. 

Reception and dining

entrance to the Kiva

The Kiva, where all the sessions take place is a large, round building set into the earth. You go down steps to get in, removing shoes before going in the door. 

I am staying in the Ranch House which has a deep porch, lovely to sit in and gaze at the landscape. Two other women, Joyce and Shelly, share a room with me.

Ranch House courtyard

On the first full day, we had 7:00 a.m. qigong movements led by two teachers. After breakfast, Mingtong arrived. The very first thing we have did was to “hugger” someone. His English is sometimes amusing, and "huggering" is just one example. 

He talked for a long time, and also led some movements. He is, we are told, transmitting healing energy as he speaks. However, we are responsible for our own healing - he is only showing us the way.

Chi nap in the Kiva

Just before lunch we did some partner work on the 3 A’s: Accept, Activate, Appreciate. I worked with Shelly who is now my “chi buddy.”

A “chi nap” followed lunch. We all lay on mats in the kiva, all 40 of us, but I didn’t sleep a wink. As the time ended, Mingtong began chanting healing sounds and all joined in. These sounds vibrate and stimulate specific organs in your body. Some sounds are short and some are long, and are made as loudly as you're able. The kiva vibrated with sound.

Then we got up off the floor at last and music began. Mingtong urged us to move our bodies, he himself vigorously pumping his arms and legs, wheeling all around to first, flowing sounds then R&B music. Most people were smiling joyfully, and dancing with abandon.

Later, we broke into two groups. One group went with Mingtong for a walk in the lowlands, and my group went with a teacher to the labyrinths on the hill. 

From there you could see that the center is out in the middle of a wide basin, surrounded by distant mountains, some capped with snow. The small town of Galisteo (pop. 150) is nearby, but not much else in this high altitude desert. 

We walked the labyrinth, a complicated knot that took time and hence gave an opportunity to meditate. I carried with me a stone and thought about my intention. The stone represented something in my life I wanted to leave behind. At the center of then labyrinth was a pile of stones. I placed my stone on the pile and took another, this replacement representing something I wanted to attain. 

Dragon Hands 

Mingtong took questions after dinner as we sat as before in a circle of chairs inside the kiva. I shared that my wrist was in a brace the day before and was much better after the "Dragon Hands" exercise that afternoon. I had noticed with amazement that it hadn't hurt since.

Last night and tonight the evening ended about 9:00 with a healing session. In the healing session, a  person, comfortably settled on a mattress and wrapped in blankets, lay in front of Mingtong, who sat on his chair on the daiz above her. The rest of us lay on mats with our heads all pointing towards the healing. Tonight, my friend Ingrid from the van ride was the patient. Mingtong, in a deep voice chanted words in English and Chinese. When it was over and Mingtong had slipped out, we all quietly left the dimly lit kiva and went to bed

Day 2

This was a day when people began to respond emotionally. Tears and sobbing during sound healing especially. Mingtong gave an inspired lecture that went overtime, a real marathon in which with eyes closed he expressed “primal” thoughts. During the long talk, I dozed in and out, but toward the end I knew something extraordinary was happening and I listened closely. Much of it I couldn’t understand, but I let the words in, knowing that I would hear him repeat the same ideas again another day, another way.

He ended by assigning the golden silence. We would not speak during lunch. And we would chew our food until every morsel was dissolved in our mouths.

The silence continued into the Chi nap, (and this time I slept) and into the afternoon session of dancing, exercises and evening sound healing. And it has not been withdrawn.

Shelly showed me the way to the grandmother tree, a wonderful, huge, multi-trunked cottonwood. I gave the tree a long hug, feeling its powerful energy.

Today I took one less Carbidopa levodopa pill than usual.

Day 3

Mingtong talked again into the lunch break, while we were supposed to be silent.

There was some fun in joyous, but silent prancing and playing around outside with two women, Ingrid and Peggy during one break. 

More breakdowns in the kiva. Maybe we all will have one.

We learned some new exercises, and ended the afternoon early with a walk in nature, in silence still. I walked with Shelly to see the petroglyphs, a tough climb on scrabble slopes and through barbed wire. The view was gorgeous, of desert and mountains, the petroglyphs very ancient, simple symbols, a hand and animals.

Day 4

Another dry and windy day. 

With my chi partner, we discussed challenges in our lives and strategies to address them. We also talked about what we noticed we had accomplished so far in the retreat. For me it was that I took two less carbidopa levodopa pills today, and that I was feeling some signs of energy movement in my body. 

petroglyphs

The added event was a slideshow with talk from Mingtong in the evening. In the course of it he said honestly, that Americans were not as responsive to qigong healing as the Chinese, but he still had hope. That was discouraging to hear, even with his caveat.

Day 5

Swinging emotions today from social interactions.  First the pleasure of sitting down to lunch at a table outside to catch up with Pat, and being joined by Wendy, a very sweet Parkie with tremor and no meds who I’ve gotten to know, then by Shelly and the teacher Adrian and last Kelly, a teaching assistant. It was a joy to feel comfortable, included and liked by these people while sitting in the warm sunshine.

dining room

It went downhill starting with dancing when I was off my meds and felt out of the “in” circle - the boisterous women flinging themselves about freely and playing off one another. I realized I often feel like an outsider, and I have felt that on and off here on the retreat. It’s an old hurt from my youth.

Mingtong would say, “embrace the feeling.” 

Other than that I felt very good about my focus in all aspects of Qi Gong. I didn’t do as well with the PD, I took only one less pill instead of two.

Day 6

A more emotionally stable day, all my writing and thinking about the social issue resulted in a more casual approach. I was friendly to those who rattle me, and made new friends at meals.

After morning practice and breakfast we found that the kiva had rows of chairs for a live streamed session of meditation and brief practice. The local community was invited to attend and there were perhaps 10 who participated. Then, those who had been asked or who wished to, came to the front and shared their retreat experiences. Some were quite emotional, some described their ailments and struggles or the rigors of retreat, but all were positive in their praise for Mingtong and qigong.

This was the last day for people who signed up for a one week retreat. Peggy and Ingrid, my two silent dance partners left. Mingtong ate lunch with us, talking especially to the doctors in the group. He is hoping to make Qigong more available in hospitals.

Shelly and I went for a nap, and later had an informal practice in the kiva. With four young people, we practiced along with a Mingtong sound healing recording, then did Dragon's Hands.

Day 7

Free day. I could go into Santa Fe but preferred to save money and stay here and “integrate” myself. Rest, Mingtong said, integrate. Be in nature.

Analisa and I on the ridge

I did. I hiked twice up the ridge to the petroglyphs with different people.

Since the first week is over, what has been my progress? In the aim of getting in touch with my own body, connecting the different parts such as the brain and the heart, and actually feeling these areas, I have made slight progress. 

In visualization exercises such as visualizing the energy field emanating from my body in all directions, I am able to create a vague sense of one. It tries my patience though, to stand, eyes closed, listening to the same or similar words over and over again, to imagine my energy extending to “fill this room, into the community, over the mountains, to the ocean and to the horizon,” stretched out in slow soothing sentences, repeated for front, back, left, right sides of my body - it takes a long time.

I am struggling with this practice.

I do see an improvement in my ability to sit or stand still and to focus. My mind does drift in and out, but my body posture and stillness is something at least. Will one week get me further?

The movements such as the one holding your arms up called "Spinal Bone Marrow," and "Fetus," when you tuck into a ball standing on your feet, are excruciating when they are extended for long periods of time. “Embrace the pain,” we are told, it’s "activating the energy" in our bodies. I agree it does, but fun or pleasant it is not. But I do it because I want to get well.

Will the next week make a difference, can I make better progress, can I “make my best effort,” as Mingtong urges? I am trying. I am. Try harder, says I. 

Haola! (the mantra here meaning all is well, getting better).

Chi Center; second week

Day 8

The day was fairly typical except for newly arrived students and two new teachers, Sarah, a new roommate of mine, and Vivian, both excellent in their own ways. Vivian  and Adrian also led a workshop for questions and answers for those new to qigong and I went.

Mingtong directed us to eat lunch with a new arrival and I paired with Alisa, who does body work like Pilates, dance and yoga professionally. 

sitting out on the veranda of the dining hall

A friend of Mingtong’s, cellular biologist and psychologist Joan Borysenko, was a surprise guest in the afternoon. A lovely, warm woman, she had a spontaneous healing at the age of ten. She shared that and other stories of her life, including a trip to China with a team from Harvard to study qigong. They found that qigong masters were able to kill cancer cells in petri dishes using chi, leaving normal cells alive.

steps to the trails

Day 9

It’s hard going to 3 meals a day and wondering where and with whom to sit, or whether to go off somewhere by yourself. The anticipation of it almost caused me to skip out, but I took Mingtong’s advice and embraced the feeling by going for it. Each time it was fine.

I’m feeling sensations in my body during sound healing and during visualizations more often and more deeply. A memorable exercise that Vivian led today, involved acknowledging and embracing the little child you once were, who may still be hurting, or angry, or sad, and embrace her. The visualization was quite easy for me with that one.

Day 10

Not much progress except a feeling of being again the outsider. It’s happened a few times: the room is laughing and I’m not. I don’t laugh. Sometimes I’m smiling, but today, not even that. 


After we were all lying down after supper for the evening sound healing last night, one person started to chuckle, who knows why. Then others started, then as the first person's laughter grew stronger, more people joined in and the first one grew hysterical. Mingtong joined in, too. I saw it was Analisa’s sound healing and I felt bad for her. Sure enough, I saw she was lying still in her soft bed and had covered her face with a cloth.

Finally Mingtong turned up the lights and allowed the laughter to subside. He proposed an activity: find a partner and sit opposite them and share the highlight of your day. He spoke in his soothing tones and soon everyone was settled and quietly whispering to one another.

looking down at the Chi Center from the ridge

The two other times it was during the butterfly exercise. We were lying down with our feet together and knees up at such an angle as to make the knees bounce up and down, an exercise to loosen blockages in the hips. On two occasions, one person began laughing, and the contagion spread. Mingtong encouraged it. Laughter, crying, they’re both good he said. I have had a few tears, but little laughter. I smile, or I feel a little sadness, but I am subdued. That’s me.

Mingtong’s long talks are done. This week he takes questions and answers. He commented on it today, that he had talked so much last week, he had nothing left to say.

We were bid to begin silence starting at lunch and to close our eyes and count while we chewed our food until each bite was totally gone. We were dismissed early to walk in nature and to focus on one aspect in nature of our choice. Shelly and I walked to the arroyo. We walked in silence and I observed all the different types of earth along the way.

Later, after sound healing, Shelly came in and said, “I have to talk. Today when we were walking, I turned around and saw you, and you were beautiful, you were glowing, and I realized how much I love you.” We hugged.

Arroyo

Day 11

A very intense day. Practice was extremely grueling. I was one of the few who persevered and kept my arms raised in the exercise called Spinal Bone Marrow, and kept my arms pumping in Chen Chi. I later learned that the first lasted 45 minutes and the other 20 minutes. I was aching at night and had violent dreams.

Silence continued through lunch. We had a healing circle in the afternoon. Nine chairs were grouped in the middle of the kiva where those to be healed were to sit.  I was feeling "off" and Shelly encouraged me, so I sat down in the first for group for healing focused on the brain. Mingtong circled close to us, calling out exhortations such as, "Healthy brain! Creative brain!" while everyone else made an outer circle. The would take a step and with a "Haola!" sweep their arms up and down, raining energy down upon those in the center.

I began to cry silently before they even started to chant. I cried again when I sat a second time in the last healing for the lungs and thought unexpectedly about my grandmother Selma who died of tuberculosis when my mother was ten.

We met in small group after and ate dinner together. I had Wendy in my group who I have been sitting with in the kiva and talking with often at meals. She lives in nearby Galisteo and has PD, but takes no pharmaceuticals except for medical marijuana. She has tremor and slowness. She is well liked but often ignored by the others, though offered assistance when she looks like she needs it.

I shared in the group about my social anxiety, but that the positive social interactions have been the highlight of my stay here.

The end is near, but I think I have had a breakthrough at last. I am tired but feel myself pulsing with an inner energy.

inside the Ranch House

Day 12

The past two nights have been miserable. My body can’t get comfortable - a headache in my right temple. Dreams. Is it “chi purification,” which Mingtong says we may experience due to change, the breaking down of blockages? Energy moving? My symptoms are worse.

I did the exercises, I participated fully all day, and I went further. I had a healing in the dorm room from Linling, Mingtong’s wife. I lay in my bed while she stood over me and similar to Mingtong's healings, chanted and encouraged me to relax and open. I fell asleep very soon and before I knew it, I heard the door closing and she was gone, leaving a 40 minute recording on my phone. I felt quite rested and rejoined the group in the kiva. 

Chi Center driveway

Day 13

My off periods have been bothersome. Meds have been necessary, but not more than usual. I took four carbidopa levodopa and one mirapex, which is less than I had been needing before I started doing qi gong daily. Still I hope to reduce further.

We had practice in the morning, and then testimonials. Some drama queens and bold ones went to the stage, were hooked to a mic and live video, and told their stories of healing, or progress towards healing. In an hour and a half, maybe a third of us spoke, mainly due to the fact that no one kept to the suggested 3 minutes. They were entertaining however, some poignant, some humorous.

Then a surprise visit from Grandmother Flordemayo, a Mayan woman who is a teacher and healer, and her friend Patricio, another Indian. He sang a song while beating a drum, and she said a prayer. They are both involved in planning the “Gathering for Humanity” that will take place here in May, in an as yet to be built geodesic dome.

view from the ridge, cottonwood tree

Mingtong and the guests ate lunch with us. Afterwards Mingtong was available for photos. I had yet to talk with him privately, but I asked for a photo with him. I had my travel sketchbook with me and had done quite a few pencil and watercolor drawings of the area. I asked if I could show him. He didn’t comment much, but he told me he didn’t know how to draw. Nevertheless, he had to teach drawing once in college. I asked him about his fine arts degree, and he said it was in video and photography. 





As a goodbye, Mingtong gave me a hug. It was a long hug, or longer than I would normally expect, with a little shaky squeeze at the end for emphasis. It really should not have surprised me considering that "huggering" was happening a lot at the Chi Center. Almost everyday Mingtong started us off with the command to hug someone. Each time I chose someone nearby, or really, we chose each other, someone who was turning my way, and we held each other close until Mingtong ended it. It was for much more than a minute always, though he never said how long. They were long enough that your arms grew tired and you needed to consciously relax them, breath and snuggle in closer to be comfortable.

People are important to healing. Mingtong said you can practice on your own, but to really get the full benefits of Wisdom Qigong, you need to have a group. The powerful Chi Field a group creates is very healing. The retreat was indeed intense for me because of all the remarkable people and Mingtong's own intensity. 



It is a start for me. I have an inkling a change has, or is in the process of taking place. My intention is to reverse my diagnosis, so I can be told, "You must not have had Parkinson's after all!"