Doing Vs. Being

November has been a change from the previous two months. In the first week of the month my mother visited causing a change of routine. The emphasis was on being with my mother whom I hadn’t seen in over a year.

            After she left, I began spending time being in the clay studio. I’d woken up a few times in the night thinking about clay. Although I had been giving clay lessons to three children this fall I hadn’t created anything myself since the summer.

So for the next two weeks of the month I spent a few hours each day in the studio. I didn’t produce much. I tried some new things that flopped, and as with everything else, I move slowly. Nevertheless, it was satisfying to be in the little studio. I listen to music and look through the double doors at the squirrels in the fall garden, and encourage my right hand to work along with my left. I like when it grows dark outside and I am in the brightly lit studio with a work in progress. It’s very cozy as the days grow short.

Being in the clay studio means sacrificing something else, so for three weeks I have not been to the gym. I exercise each morning with Qi Gong or yoga. I meditate, and do Dr. K’s eye and finger exercises.  With that and the puppy and cleaning up the kitchen, most of the morning is gone.

So occasionally, or more than occasionally, I have an inkling of guilt – that I’m not doing enough or not doing it well enough to get healthy.

I wondered today, what should I be doing? What are the most important things I can do to make myself well? And believe me, I have a great sack of things I could be doing, information gathered from all quarters. What came to me as I was pondering these questions was that it is not so important what I am doing, but it is more important what I am being.

So: being with my mother, being in the clay studio, being in my body, being in the place and the moment where I am. That is what I think is important. That is a goal. And how to achieve it? If I can tune into my heart it will lead the way.