A Visit to Dr. V

I went to Dr. V to get some medical forms filled out and to get a prescription. I am applying for social security disability insurance because I have taken a leave of absence from work. It’s the first September in 9 years I have not been teaching. I had no intention of taking the medication, but it might be helpful to have a prescription to fill in the blank in the application. I’ve been told it can be difficult to get SSDI with a diagnosis of PD.

            Dr. V was more cheerful with me now that I seemed more willing to take drugs. Last time he was quite disgruntled when he learned I was seeking alternative therapy in California. He confidently prescribed Mirapex and when I asked him what the side effects were he said perhaps some mild abdominal discomfort. I would start on a low dose for 2 weeks then call him to tell him how I was doing. He said he had prescribed it hundreds of times and said with a twinkle, I was going to be a lot better. He gave me 2 boxes of pills.

            Despite my intentions when I went in, I felt seriously torn when I walked out. It was so tempting to think that I might possibly be moving and doing things normally if I took this drug. As I drove home I was on the edge of tears, my state of mind confused. I was completely unsure of what was best. I asked for guidance from my own heart and gradually I calmed down.

When I got home I meditated, trying to clear my mind in order to better receive guidance from within myself or from higher powers. My original intentions for my treatment came back to me: I am healing myself, I am not using drugs, and I intend to be cured.

Then I went to the Internet and looked up Mirapex. The side effects I found were a lot more serious than Dr. V described. One person described it as an “insane asylum drug.” Some people described ruined marriages and ruined lives, mostly from a variety of obsessive-compulsive behaviors caused by the drug. Yes, some people said Mirapex helped them. Perhaps it could help me. But any drug that has the potential to mess with my brain that much seems like not such a good idea.

I feel good, I lead a full life, I’m happy. I don’t want to risk losing that.